Anderson, You Stay Classy

As always, Anderson Cooper brilliantly cuts to the center of the Clint McCance issue: " We think you should see his face…We think you should know his name. Clint McCance." I love what he's doing. He's routing the bully out of his electronic groundhog hole. Expose the haters for who they are, otherwise they'll just keep up the hateful rhetoric.
Later on in the interview, one of the graduates of Midland High School, Anthony Turner is interviewed. He is a formerly bullied gay kid who was advocating for wearing purple to in Midland. He said, that he likes the It Gets Better campaign, but, "We have a responsibility to make sure that it gets better now.. We have to look at our public policy and a situation where hate like this, where this kind of horrible conduct can come from a public official and nothing can be done about it." He goes on to say that in rural communities, gay kids "have nothing" no PFLAG, GLSEN groups to go to.
This is why individual educators have to step up and state the case for them.
Later on in the broadcast Anderson interviews Rosalind Wiseman author of Queen Bees & Wannabees, an anti-bullying advocate.
Money Quote: "What he (Clint McCance) is doing is fundamentally anti-child and anti-education. And what the colleagues around him have to be able to say 'this cannot stand' and if we don't do that…then we lose credibility with our own children."
We educators must use our platform to make gay okay.
If you didn't wear purple last week, then do something else to improve conditions for gay kids in your school.

Update-- Yes!

Arkansas school board member is resigning.  He says, "I give everyone a chance and try to love everyone".  Yeah.  Right.  I would suggest not using hate-speech to show your love next time.  http://www.cnn.com/2010/US/10/28/arkansas.anti.gay.resignation/index.html

School Boards

Where do I start? School board members often come to the table with one or more issues or agenda: (And I may be jaded about some aspects of education but I remain passionate about my students, what I teach and the daily duties of being a teacher)

• Narcissists (good for supervising children)
• men with Napoleon complexes who want to rule tall women (teaching is still a woman-dominated profession)
• micro-managing mothers who don't think their kids can graduate or get a proper education without some special muscle
• adults who had bad experiences in school and want to be in charge of the teachers who once bullied them (because telling a child to sit down and be quiet so the rest of the class can learn is clearly out of line…)
• parents who don't want their kids to ever know anything about sex because "abstinence education" will definitely prevent all teenagers from having sex
• Wearing-their-religion-on-their sleeve "Christians" who do not understand the separation of church & state – yes, the first amendment controls what a school can & cannot do and your religious affiliation has no bearing on what the public school does or does not teach (or what the library does or does not shelve).
• passive-aggressive nut jobs who hold grudges against " lazy" teachers who only work 190 days a year (I wish!)and get better health benefits than they have (this is very helpful for contract negotiation)
• community members who think most teachers only hold jobs because they have tenure (have it easy), not because teachers take their careers seriously
• citizens who think they have to save the district's students from the teachers who are merely "book smart" and not "street smart"
• business people who think should serve schools should serve their interests and believe that schools produce products

and a few good people who have no agenda and really want what's best for the students, district and community.

(Don't get me wrong, I think that local control is important for school districts, but my district, like many others is having a hard time finding people to fill board positions)

And then there's this guy who apparently who ran for the school board to increase the audience range of his bigoted rhetoric: (thanks for the tip, Kathy!)

Where do I start? The fact that 6 people "liked" this message is appalling. I don't know much about the good people of Arkansas, but I think this idiot's giving them a bad name. On the other hand, the Facebook page asking for his resignation has 14,000 members.

This guy is why kids think it's okay to be bigoted against gays (and to use bad grammar!). If those who are supposed to be running the district are like this, how could the kids think differently? And how could they possibly learn to use the proper pronouns?

And since when should one kill oneself for sinning? So-called Christians (not to be confused with the actual forgiving Christians): Ur doin' it wrong. And school board members: You have got to educate all kids in a public school system, even the LGBT students. You don't get to pick and choose the students any more than the teachers do. Please remember this when you create policy.

A Teachable Moment

Rep. Barney Frank, the only openly gay U.S. Congressman (and a force of nature) says that the recent suicides of gay teens is a teachable moment? Yah think?

Clinton & Obama Get Better! Yay!

Both Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama have posted video messages to the It Gets Better project. If only they could change Don't Ask, Don't Tell and make Gay marriage legal everywhere.

In other news, high school kids in Oklahoma still don't get it.

LGTBTV

You know, I love television. It's really been a leader through the years at breaking down stereotypes. It takes a while, but it really is cutting edge if you think about it.

• In the 60's and early 70's there were no gay characters on television except maybe Alice the housekeeper on the Brady Bunch (I know she wasn't gay in the show, but c'mon!)
  
• In the late 70's – Early 80's we had Jack Tripper and the boys on Bosom buddies who only "pretended" to be gay or cross-dressed to obtain cheap and comfortable housing. We had Soap, which had the first out lesbian on television, too.
  
• Later in the 80's Tony Randall played a gay character in the lead role, but he was 'closeted' lest we think he would be an unfit guardian for a little girl.
  
• In the 90's we had a single gay character on Melrose Place and Passions and a single gay character in the soap operas Passions and All My Children.
  
• In the late 90's Ellen came out! No more awkward dating scenes! And Ross's ex-wife realizes she's a lesbian on Friends.
  
• In the "naughties" we had gay characters in 20+ shows. Will & Grace – need I say more?
  

And currently we have gay people integrated on "family" shows: Modern Family, Brothers & Sisters. And the BRAVO channel is practically all-gay all the time; The LOGO channel is all gay all the time.

My how the airwaves have changed in the last 40 years. It seems that there are gay characters on every show. JUST LIKE THERE ARE GAY PEOPLE IN EVERY TOWN IN AMERICA. Go figure!

Now, no one makes a big deal on television shows when characters are gay. (Although poor Curt on Glee gets regular Slushie facials – poor guy). It's accepted – It's normal and parents now stand up for their gay children. Yay!

 

So I applaud television for making gay people an integral part of the television landscape.

 

Now for the point of this posting, and I'm sorry it took so long to get here, but here it is: Shouldn't gay people be part of our curriculum? Aren't gay people an integral part of literature, history, culture and society? Are there no gay scientists or mathmeticians?

 

I don't think we have to perseverate on the fact that great figures in history were gay, but isn't it worth mentioning that Shakespeare wrote for an openly gay patron, and that the reason Hemingway and Tennessee Williams couldn't write a sympathetic female character was because they were gay and had issues with women.

 

I'm going to start with Shakespeare. You can't discount Shakespeare. I'll let you know how it goes.

 

Ms. L

The Bulletin Board

On Monday, I told the kids that the people on the bulletin board were LGBT because no one had yet guessed the answer. You could have heard a pin drop. And then, after a time, there were lots of questions. How is a Pope gay? Were there really gay people 2500 years ago? How do you know those people are gay? So I talked about the validity of primary sources, too, layering on the lessons.

I also mentioned that approximately 10 % of the population was LGBT. I had them do the math about how many people in our school that would be. That left them speechless for a while, too.

I did not sense any resistance, in fact, the kids seemed to really understand that the recent suicides were a tipping point for us all – that we were all responsible for ending the kind of behavior that led to those terrible suicides.

One student shared that a kid from his church recently shot himself in the head in his dorm room. The student didn't know why the student had committed suicide, but you could tell they were all thinking that being gay could be a possibility.

I ended the lesson by mentioning that the kids could wear purple on Wednesday to memorialize the students who took their lives because of gay bullying.

Ms. L

Respect the agenda

Loved this article yesterday in the LA Times. The only agenda is respect. 'nuff said.

Ms. L

Tie a purple ribbon round me-ee-ee…

I'm going to share this Facebook group with my class this week and wear purple on Wednesday.

 

"It's been decided. On October 20th, we will wear purple in honor of gay and lesbian people who have been victim to getting abused for their sexual orientation.

Purple represents Spirit on the LGBTQ flag and that's exactly what we'd like all of you to have with you: spirit. Please know that times will get better and that you will meet people who will love you and respect you for who you are, no matter your sexuality.

Please wear purple on October 20th. Tell your friends, family, co-workers, neighbors and schools.


Join this group and invite everyone on your friends list. Don't let their deaths be for nothing. Let it mean something, and let's do something to change this country for once.

Gays or lesbians shouldn't suffer for who they love. "

 

You can join the Facebook group and wear purple on Wednesday. A simple remembrance for Matthew Shepard, Tyler Clementi, Asher Brown, Seth Walsh, Justin Aaberg, Raymond Chase and Billy Lucas.

Sarah’s Message

  
 "Dear America, when you tell gay Americans that they can't serve their country openly or marry the person that they love, you're telling that to kids too. So don't be shocked and wonder where all these bullies are coming from that are torturing young kids and driving them to kill themselves because they're different. They learned it from watching you." Sarah Silverman

Dear Readers,
    When you don't make it clear that being LGBT is a positive orientation, you are contributing to the culture that bullies LGBT kids. We need to make it clear that LGBT is a positive, healthy and normal way to be. Otherwise we are reinforcing the negative behaviors and stereotypes. We would not stand by and watch a kid be maligned for her color, religion or gender. Why is being LGBT such a huge leap?
Ms. L

Suicide Prevention

One of the issues I need to address in my classroom is suicide prevention. Over the years I have brought several students by the hand (gay and straight) to the guidance counselor or the social worker because they have threatened suicide. Luckily they expressed their thoughts to me. Many kids don't feel safe telling anyone they know how deep their despair runs.

A few days ago I looked at website of The Trevor Project, and they have a Trevor Survival kit to advertise their helpline and to deal with teens that may be suicidal. Also they have a workshop kit that is downloadable right from the site. I signed up for the survival kit, and just received an e-mail stating that due to increased demand it may take 6 weeks for it to arrive. So I'm not sure that I should wait that long, I will have to print my own sign. The website also has an "I'm Glad I Failed" campaign for which you can download & print posters and web banners. I think I will put one on my web page, too.

I have gotten quite a bit of buzz from my bulletin board. On Monday, Oct. 18^th, I will be telling the kids that the people on the board are all LGBT. Not one student has guessed correctly, yet. I am going to try to let them lead the discussion on Monday. I think if they ask why I put it up, I will just say that I wanted them to know that there are positive parts of being gay (look what these people accomplished!) and I wanted to them to see that not everything about being gay is negative despite the recent events.
As a follow up activity I am going to distribute an article about one of the teens who committed suicide in the last month. (We read one teacher-selected article each week of the first quarter, so this won't be unusual. Also, I choose articles which address youth issues, class-related issues or news that students will be interested in). I will be neutral. I will be neutral. I will be neutral. I will have the students make up their own discussion questions for this article to avoid being the leader.

Help a teacher establish a GSA

While catching up on my internet reading today I saw this post from Dan Savage. It illustrates what many teachers are up against out there in the Middle. I sent a small donation. Won't you do the same?

Bulletin Board

So I said in my last post that I was going to put something up in my room for LGBT history month. Here is the evidence that I have actually been working on my project. I didn't make any fanfare about it, and I tell the kids who ask about it that I will tell them what the answer is on October 18^th which is "Ally Week" sponsored by GLSEN. I got the names from Lambda. Now the only thing that makes me squeamish is that many of these names are controversial and because of the nature of the information (historical figures being outed sometimes well after their deaths) and there is, in many cases little or sketchy historical documentation about these figures sex lives. This really does not jibe with what I teach my students about citing sources. But I am going with the rationalization that the overall message outweighs the fact that I can't really check my source here.
On October 18^th I am going to tell my students what all the people on the board have in common and put a link to the Ally Week pledge on my website.

GLBT History Month

October is GLBT History month. I had no idea there was such a month. I see corporations embrace other history months, offering supplies, materials and support throughout the year. I think it is a great idea. Gay & Lesbian Pride month is hard to miss with its colorful parades (in June when school is out), but no one is rolling out the colorful curriculum packets for GLBT history month? Why not? Are we that afraid of being labeled 'indoctrinators of the gay agenda?' I don't have a 'gay agenda', I have a 'no more bullied or dead kids no matter their sexual orientation' agenda.

So to do what I do best, cause trouble ;), I did what any lazy-American-parked-in-front-of-the-tv-with-a-laptop-and-wifi- wanting-to-know-something would do. I Googled "GLBT history month" and read what was posted on Wikipedia. As I am fond of telling my students, it's not the info you find on Wikipedia that's important, it's the information that Wikipedia leads you to. There is an organization called the Gay & Lesbian Education Network, GLSEN which founded GLBT history month (No current chapter in my state, but I think I can change that). There is a page entitled "What You Can Do to Make A Positive Difference" which is a general guide for teachers. Good, basic info. And here also I found some of the glossy, curriculum guides. I will be perusing these for ideas, later.

So what am I to do about GLBT history month? I believe I will introduce a gay author each week in my class. Or perhaps I will place a list of gay & lesbian authors and historical figures on the wall and let the kids guess what they all have in common. I also need to find a list of young adult and adult books that depict GLBT kids in a positive light. And maybe when I get really brave we'll read The Importance of Being Ernest, by Oscar Wilde and discuss some of the gay themes in addition to the universal ones and Wilde's subsequent indecency trial, imprisonment and death.

It gets better…

I have to give a shout out to Dan Savage who, besides being my favorite sex columnist, started the "It Gets Better" series of videos on YouTube. Here is a video of Dan explaining his intentions and his dead on view of the religious right. For those of you who haven't heard of Mr. Savage, he is a blunt sex columnist who writes for Slog, a blog which is part of Seattle's The Stranger website. The column Savage Love is NSFW and may make some of you "vanilla" people out there queasy. Just a warning.

Dan Savage is great at pointing repeatedly to the systematic campaign of hatred that so-called religious leaders have pointed at gay people. He has said, point blank that religious leaders have "blood on their hands" because it has been the perpetuation of hatred against gays that allows for bullying of gay kids in school. Mr. Savage does not mince words:

"Being told that they're[gay children] sinful and that their love offends God, and being told that their relationships are unworthy of the civil right that is marriage (not the religious rite that some people use to solemnize their civil marriages), can eat away at the souls of gay kids. It makes them feel like they're not valued, that their lives are not worth living. And if one of your children is unlucky enough to be gay, the anti-gay bigotry you espouse makes them doubt that their parents truly love them—to say nothing of the gentle "savior" they've heard so much about, a gentle and loving father who will condemn them to hell for the sin of falling in love with the wrong person." http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2010/10/01/sl-letter-of-the-day-sorry-nothing-fun

What have we done by not speaking out against this kind of behavior before? Have we allowed an environment where kids think that death is better than one more day in high school or junior high? How are we teachers missing this? How are we tolerating it?

We have to make a stand right now. We have to stand up to those insidious, sneaky little bullies. We have to stop every kid when we hear "that's gay" or "faggot" . We have to stop every gay joke just like we would stop a racist one. We have to be serious about this.

I let a kid "act gay", in other words act stereotypically effeminate, today while in a school setting. I should not have done so. I usually point out when kids do dangle their wrists and using a high voice that they are acting out a cartoonish stereotype which doesn't represent the majority of gay people but looks more like a boy trying to act like my grandma in drag. (It really looked like the kid is trying to be Tom Hanks in Bosom Buddies! ) But because I was tired or distracted or something, I didn't stand up to this kid and I should have. Would I have allowed a white kid to act "black" or "Mexican"? No way. So I can't allow kids to "act gay" either. Because if I do let this happen, I may also have blood on my hands.

Little has changed…

Way back in the 1980's when I was in high school there was one openly gay student in my large, public high school. He was exceedingly talented in music, particularly singing, theater and not especially flamboyant. But everyone knew he was gay. I remember when he played Rolf in the school production of The Sound of Music, everyone was very worried about the kissing scene. The girl who played Liesl was gracious, but you could tell it made her uncomfortable. There was a lot of talk backstage about his being gay. Not a lot of negative commentary as we lived in a pretty liberal university town, but this kid's sexual preference was noted regularly even among the most tolerant of the students.

From then on it only got worse for this boy. He was constantly harassed verbally and physically. I remember my friends and I making a circle of bodies around this student in the lunchroom one day so the bullies who had followed him from the hallways would not physically torment him. They would punch him, kick him and call him names every day, all day. I thought it was horrible then, but didn't know what to do. But the scene was a vivid memory. The kid would have bruises, even a black eye once from these Neanderthals.

But like many gay high school students today, this student eventually had to drop out of the regular school, for which he could have been academically successful and an asset to the school's many extra-curricular activities. By the end of sophomore year he was transferred to the alternative school, which we all know would be great for his social development but not probably for his academic record. I thought it sad that he would have to leave because others couldn't behave themselves properly. Why did he have to leave why weren't the others punished? The school then lacked tools then to deal with the bullying, and we kids did, too. Now we all know better but nothing has been done to change the situation.

Today I see gay youth follow two distinct paths. One is the one where the student is out or outed in high school. Rarely does this student make it four years in that school. They either drop out to go to an alternative school, a G.E.D. program or a school where no one knows him/her. This group is inevitably high-risk.

The second path is of complete silence on the issue until college or even later. The boys, usually smart, high-achieving students, take on every straight, macho role they can: sports player, cutest boyfriend. Often times they play the most pious role, too. This seems to create enough of a confusion so that no one is sure they are gay: "But he's had so many girlfriends. But he plays football. But he's so religious…He can't be gay." Other boys who are not sporty often embrace invisibility or shyness. They are sensitive writers or actors playing the romantic lead – which they fake really well and thus become the favorite boyfriends of many smart girls. One very bright girl came to me crying that one of these boys had broken up with her. I could say nothing but, "It will all make sense some day. It's not you -- You're fine. It's got to be something he's working through."

The girls embrace sports, perfection and invisibility. They throw themselves into their sports and studies so they're always busy. They are always tired (keeping secrets is exhausting). They don't have enough energy to date anyone or to have social lives. Sometimes they go out in groups of girls. The volleyball team will go to homecoming together, and another girl will dress her and do her makeup. She hasn't had time to learn how to become girly. Sometimes they become physical bullies and other girls are afraid of her. They only date very macho boys and only for very short periods of time.

When these kids complain about high school – generally, of course, a student can't mention to anyone that he/she might be gay – I say, "When you go to college you will be more able to be yourself. It will get better when you get out of here. Life outside of this small town isn't as fish-bowl-like. College is much more free than here." But I say these things out of instinct. I guess at what I would like my gay child to hear from her/his teacher. And one of my favorite students got an earful from me when he wasn't sure that going away to college was the right thing to do. I practically demanded he get out of town. I know he thought I was crazy at the time, but I knew that he could never be himself in our small town. Not without leaving it for awhile, first.

But in the 14 years I have been teaching, never once have I attended or heard about a seminar, meeting or conference dealing with LGTBQ youth that was directed at teachers or students. There have been a few at our state teacher convention aimed at counselors but never at teachers. Why has nothing changed? Why have our administrators, counselors, teachers and parents not asked for more? Why has not our state department of instruction done more? I am here to beg for more. I am here to demand more for these LGTBQ kids and the straight kids who need to learn tolerance, acceptance and love. We are doing all the kids a disservice by not addressing this issue. We are failing all our children.

My goal in trying to change things is this 1. write something every day about gay kids in high school or 2. do something every day to try to make it better. Today I contacted the guidance counselor. I told her I wanted to set up some LGTBQ safe zones in the building and she suggested a chapter of PFLAG or other organization. So we're working together as of now to put something together. But we're on our way.

.

I gotta do something…

I'm a high school teacher at a small (800 students), rural (yes you can see & smell cows & cheese from my classroom), high school in Wisconsin.  Being the theater teacher, I have always been one of the "gay friendly" teachers; I willingly accept that role.  I have struggled for years with the best way to teach tolerance for LGBTQ students in a high school setting.  Adolescents are naturally uncertain about all aspects of sexuality -- their own and others' -- and they don't often know how to act "straight" if they're straight and "gay" if they're gay let alone trying to deal with the 'other guys & girls'.  (I am not suggesting that there is a particular way to behave, straight or gay or otherwise, but you know high school kids do think this way).

Simply, I have always been extra-supportive of my out students, silently supportive of my non-out gay students, and completely intolerant of any negative language about gays within my sphere of influence: the classroom, hallways, and extra-curricular programs.  But recent events have led me to determine that I have not been doing, have not done enough.

     At the beginning of this school year, I heard a news story about three gay teens who took their lives in a Minnesota High School.  This week Tyler Clementi, took his life after being outed in the most public way by his dormmates.  Here is the body count from September & October:  Indiana, Rhode Island, Texas and I'm sure there are many more that aren't being reported in the major news outlets.

This didn't happen at my school, but it could. Last week, I stopped a kid in the hall for calling a kid a "freshman faggot".  He was a new student so I told him, "We don't use that kind of derogatory language here," in my most helpful, cheery but stern teacher-y voice. But was that enough? Should I have talked to the counselor about him (it would be pointless now as the student has already transferred schools). Should I have some sort of curriculum or protocol to deal with kids who use derogatory language? In our school, unbelievably, the kids get anti-bullying curriculum in the grade school, but teachers do not go through any teacher training on the subject.

Sadly, I can't find one quote from a teacher in any of the above news stories. Maybe I'm missing something? Shouldn't the teachers be part of the solution? I know that typically the reporters go to the front office, talk to the administrators and never go any further (I'm not blaming the reporters – they have enough on their plates these days).

And where is the teacher training we should have gotten about this issue? Where is the gay friendly curriculum? Where is the Gay History month? Where are the helpful hints for teachers to make the classroom more friendly to LGBTQ youth? Where is the teacher training on this subject – are our teacher colleges teaching this? I have to sit through the "Blood Born Pathogens" seminar EVERY year so no child dies of exposure. Why aren't we doing a mandatory seminar on bullying and derogatory language which is killing kids, too?

I know that teachers have a lot on their plates. And let me tell you I have many papers I could be grading right now, but I can't be silent any longer. I am going to try new things in my classroom, I have requested to be on the committee to help write a LGTBQ curriculum in my state, I have ordered videos, searched the internet, printed signs and have been collecting classroom materials. And I have started this blog. I'm going to let you know how it goes, how I navigate a fairly conservative school district, and how kids, parents, administrators, teachers, counselors and other teachers react.

And I want advice. Are you a gay teen? Were you one? What do you want or need from your teachers? Teachers: What do you do? What do you consider your successes and failures? Gay teachers: What problems and successes have you had? Where do you go for curriculum? Support? Straight teachers: What do you think is your role in this situation? Counselors & administrators: What do you consider the classroom teacher's role to be?

 

Ms. L