Gobsmacked

I cried last night so hard that I hit my head on the stove hood and now I have a sore on my forehead.  I think I am going to pick the scab in order to have a scar -- a remembrance of the day when my state government sold my union and my profession down the river. 

I can't be anything but a drama queen.  And I know I'm the drama teacher but my motto has always been: "I prefer my drama onstage, thank you very much."  But I think I speak for many native Wisconsinites when I say I don't recognize my state any more. 

As collective bargaining is eliminated for public employees, I harken back (I know I'm being corny) to the day I decided to become a teacher.  I was helping a friend of the family, a high school teacher, produce a summer musical.  I loved working with the kids.  I thought, "Hey -- this is fun and you can help kids learn really neat stuff."  I have always thought acting and performing was a little selfish -- a little self-aggrandizing and egotistical (no offense meant actors -- it just wasn't for me) after a certain age and so it seemed that teaching was the route for me. 

I caught a lot of flack from my family; With horrified looks they asked,  "Why do you want to work with ...... adolescents?" 

I caught a lot of flack from my fellow students in theater -- "Oh.  High School Teaching.  It's nothing but herding cats and line readings." 

But I was undeterred.  There was the strong appeal of doing something beneficial for my community -- and receiving little pay, but maybe a decent retirement and the hard won respect of parents and students. 

I did not have an easy time getting a job -- Wisconsin educates 3 teachers for every available position. 

I did not have a good experience in my first job.  There was no formal mentoring and I was thrown to the wolves with remedial classes in the near suburbs of Chicago.  My lunchtime duty was standing in the girls bathroom to prevent girls from smoking and fighting.  I was threatened, offered bribes and physically broke up fights.  I founded a theater program in a school where there was none, producing three shows a year.  And, because of a change in the administration, I was not offered a new contract at the end of my second year and because I had not yet received tenure, I couldn't grieve the decision.

But still I perservered.  I got two waitressing jobs, substituted anywhere they would have me and finally sweet-talked my way into a full-time job at a private school that paid less than $20,000 dollars and came with no benefits.  I learned a lot about myself at that job, and I learned a lot about teaching. 

Later, to get back into public school teaching, where my heart was, I was a teacher's aide for a year, observed many brilliant and caring teachers while supporting them,  and finally got a long-term subbing job.   After four years of clawing my way back in,  I got a full-time contract.  I had to leave that job to raise twins. 

When the kids were nearly out of pre-school I luckily found a job in a cute little town, where I fit in, where kids were mostly well-behaved, and where I have taught for seven great years.  It's not perfect, but I love it and I love the kids that I teach. 

Now, because of the budget cuts, the death of bargaining rights and the uncertainty of the state of education in our state, I find myself with a layoff notice.  The day after I received a nomination for a second teaching award, I received the layoff notice.   

Governor Walker has mentioned on his website the award-winning first year teacher who lost her job because of the seniority system.  But he is missing (as usual) the big picture.  Many award winning teachers, some who have dedicated their lives to teaching, are losing their jobs -- I have almost 20 years of teaching experience and I am on the chopping block, too. 

The "tools" Mr. Walker  is giving the school districts are untenable.  In order for my district to hire me back, they must do so at the expense of the rest of the faculty at my school, my beloved, supportive co-workers.  The staff who have not been laid off will have to give up part of the paltry pay and benefits they have earned for many of work and dedication to make sure that class sizes (they are about 25 right now) only grow to 30 -- not to 40.   Classes of 40 students rarely go beyond attendance & discipline.  There is no room for individual attention. 

I don't want to ask for this, but I have three children to feed.  I don't have any choice. 

Mr. Walker, until you and the legislature give up your rights to give yourselves raises, your rights to schedule your hours and to determine your benefits I cannot respect your choices. 

Until you and Republican controlled legislature put the children and the workers of Wisconsin ahead of your political  and corporate agenda, I cannot do anything but work for your recall.